A Word of Advice to Young Girls Everywhere

I wish someone would have told me at your age that words matter.

That...

Words can build people up.

Words can tear people down.

Words can cause happiness.

Words can cause great pain.

Words can help you gain a friend.

And words can help you lose one...

I wish someone would have told me the importance of words.

So...I'm telling you.

Throughout your life, you will meet new people, say goodbye to people, talk with people, laugh with people, argue with people, cry with people...

More than anything else, you will remember the words that were exchanged and the conversations that took place.

What they looked like or what you looked like will not matter.

Whether their hair was clean or dirty will not matter.

What kind of shoes they wore will not matter.

If they had money or did not have money will not matter.

The most important thing you can do in this life is treat people with kindness.

What you say to and about others, you will carry for the rest of your life.

Words cannot be taken back. You cannot get a “do-over” regarding what comes out of your mouth.

So, invite the girl that never gets an invitation.

Sit with that person at lunch who is eating alone today.

Walk away when there is a conversation going on that you don’t agree with.

Stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves.

Be kind to others even if they are not very kind to you.

And always remember the importance of your words.

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue..."

Proverbs 18:21

If Your Marriage Isn't Perfect..

I can remember daydreaming as a kid about what my life might be like when I got older.

At night sometimes I would lie awake imagining what the future would hold for me. Would I be happy? Would I feel loved? Would I be someone's everything someday?

When I envisioned my future, I always saw myself married...I always saw myself happy.

Sometimes I would draw this “future". A nice little stick couple next to a tall house on a green lawn with the sun always shining.

My stick arm would be connected to my husband’s stick arm and our faces would be nothing but smiles.

And honestly, that’s how I pictured the idea of marriage for awhile. Perfect, sunny, all smiles and so much love.

Two and a half years into my marriage, I laugh at the thought of “perfect”.

I wanted Prince Charming. I wanted someone to come looking for me one day, sweep me away to their giant castle and us live happily ever after. Thanks to the many fairy tales I watched and watched again, I expected no less!

Oh boy..

The first big problem in our marriage brought many, many cloudy days.

And all I could think was…

Where was my sunshine? Where was the beautiful, green lawn and the picket fence? Where were the smiling faces?

I wanted to but couldn't understand why my marriage was, at that time, the complete opposite of what I had always expected it to be.

Why was it so hard?

What had I gotten myself into?

And there I was, so desperately trying to take that "fairy tale" picture I was used to imagining and make it a reality.

Clouds had replaced the sun, the smiles had turned to tears and all I wanted was my fairy tale.

I wanted perfect.

But what I didn’t understand at the time was that I had vowed and promised to love an imperfect person.

He was going to mess up. I was going to mess up. Because like him, I was imperfect too.

And you don’t think about the “worse, poorer and sickness” part of your vows at first. You’re standing up there googly-eyed looking at the love of your life, thinking, “Yes of course I do! Piece of cake! ”

And then you have a worse, a poorer, or a sickness come along. And well..then what?

Grace.

Forgiveness.

Unconditional love.

Three vital things in a marriage that will be practiced over and over and over.

Will there be good times? Of course! More than the bad, in my experience, but what you do and how you react as a couple in those tough times will make or break your marriage.

So throw away those “perfect” expectations and welcome ”realistic”.

Marriage isn't a promise that you'll never have tough times. It's a promise that through those tough times, you will have someone loving you every step of the way.

Yes, you may have scary, heartbreaking, cloudy times. But there will always be a sunny day after a cloudy day. It may take a couple days, or months, for the clouds to pass, but the sun will shine again.

So don't give up hope.

You nor your spouse are meant to be perfect.

Your marriage won’t be perfect.

But I think with enough grace, forgiveness and unconditional love your marriage will have every opportunity to get pretty darn close.

Loving Tan 2 Hour Express Review!

Like many others, I found out about this product on YouTube! (#youtubeaddict)

I've done tanning beds before, I've done natural tanning in the sun, and I've tried self tanners. 

(Disclaimer: I am not endorsing tanning beds nor am I saying they're terrible. Personally, I believe that tanning beds can be okay, when used in moderation. But longtime exposure can obviously lead to negative health effects. Not to mention all the $$ that goes into keeping up with it.) 

Now to the review! :)

I followed Jaclyn Hill (um fave!) and her tutorial on YouTube linked here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1o5BgCVUqE

I bought the Morphe M439 Deluxe Buffer brush (http://morphebrushes.com/products/m439-deluxe-buffer) that she recommended, purchased the applicator mitt from Loving Tan but I got the Exfoliating Mitt for free with her discount (she mentions it on the info of her video I linked above).

I wanted to be PREPARED!

Her tan came out FLAWLESSLY so I thought I might as well use what she uses. 

(I'd never even thought about using a makeup brush to blend certain areas..GENIUS!)

I shaved and exfoliated before applying the tan. I didn't use sugar, like what was recommended, and instead used the exfoliating mitt from Loving Tan. What you use for exfoliating comes down to personal preference in my opinion. So after the shower, I started applying legs up. This technique works for me personally, but you can start at the face and work your way down if that works best for you :) I lotioned my hands, ankles, feet, elbows and knees so that those dry areas wouldn't be SUPER dark but as you can tell in my before and after I apparently didn't use enough lotion on my knees; my elbows, ankles and my face (thanks to the buffer makeup brush) turned out FINE! 

Application was a little more difficult than I had imagined in my head. Jaclyn makes it look so easy, but hello she's probably done it a thousand times, me? Not so much. I had my (sweet) husband ;) assist with my back which was SUPER helpful. I highly encourage you to get someone to help with that area, if not Loving Tan does sell a back applicator. 

It's a 2 hour express tanning lotion so that means after two hours you can rinse and voila! Done! But I left it on for four hours to maybe get a little more color than if I'd have left it on two hours. There were streaks here and there after applying but after rinsing in the shower NO streaks!! Pleasantly surprised, I was :)

After rinsing, my skin was noticeably darker and really wasn't what I was originally aiming for. BUT as we all know, a self tan takes time to develop so I decided to wait until the morning to really give a verdict on the product. 

Woke up with a smile:) 

My tan looked AMAZING! :) 

The smell of the lotion isn't too bad either! I've used drugstore self-tanners and the smell has been HORRIBLE at times, but this stuff wasn't bad at all. 

I still had a faint smell of tanning lotion on my skin the next morning but nothing too strong. 

Three days later, I still have a pretty good tan going on and the "self-tanner" smell is completely gone!

Highly recommend this product!! 

Now go get your tan on! ;)

5 Things I Haven't Told My Husband Lately That He Needs to Hear

        With daily routine comes daily remarks and repetitive "love you"s. Sometimes those special words that we'd like to hear get lost in requests and favors to help around the house. Sometimes our minds are elsewhere. While hearing, "I love you" is certainly important in a marriage, words of affirmation and affection, to me, can also be equally as important. 

Here are 5 things I haven't said to my husband lately that he needs to hear.


#1:  You're My Number One

You are my other half, my best friend, my confidant and lover. There isn't a person on this earth that I put before you. When we have a family and kids are thrown into the mix, I will still choose to put you first. I value your input on all decisions that affect our lives and I value your opinion above all others. When something exciting happens, you're the first person I want to tell. When I have a bad day, yours are the only arms I want around me. You are my number one. 

#2: You're the Apple of my Eye

From the moment we met, I've only had eyes for you. In a world where there are ideals for how women "should" look I know that there is the same standard for men, often times unaddressed. I want you to know that you will always be more than enough for me. A simple glance and smirk from you can always make my heart flutter no matter where we are. Your insecurities frustrate me; I wish you could see yourself the way I see you: perfectly imperfect and perfect for me. Channing Tatum has nothing on you. You are the apple of my eye. 

#3 I Appreciate You

Though my words or actions sometimes fail to convey how much I appreciate you, I want you to know without a doubt that I do. I appreciate your handy work around the house and your willingness to protect me from every creepy crawly that makes me squeal (centipedes are not my friend). I appreciate your hugs and encouraging words after a bad day. I appreciate pizza night after grocery shopping when cooking just seems out of the question. I appreciate how hard you work to provide for the life we have made together. I appreciate your willingness to joke around with me and laugh together even when you've had little sleep and we're laying in bed. Most of all, I appreciate your love and the comfort I have in knowing that you are mine. 

#4: I'm Proud of You

I thought you were a good man when we first met, but you've grown into an even more respectable man since. I am so proud of the man you are and the man you're continually striving to be for me. I am proud of your work accomplishments and I am so proud to be your wife. I am proud of you. 

#5: I Will Try My Best

Though I am human and flawed, I will always try my best to make sure you know how much I love and adore you and how much I appreciate you. I will try my best to always love you in those moments it's hardest. I will try my best to be interested in the things you're interested in. I will try my best to speak with love. I will try my best to be my best for you. 






Photo cred: 
http://www.loveandlavender.com/2015/06/bridal-shoot-in-lavender-fields-of-provence/

6 Things You Shouldn't Do As a Military Spouse/Girlfriend

1. Wear His Uniform-Now ladies. There have been times I've cuddled up in my husband's blouse just to feel close to him when he was away. I could smell that "just got in from work" scent and immediately be transported to his arms. But I was in the comfort of my own home. No one was around to see. I didn't take a picture and post it on the internet (I have a brain). Only him and I knew. I have seen loads and loads of "boudoir" sessions of women daunting their man's uniforms....why? I have yet to understand the entire concept. Yes, your man may like it (God knows why..)  But the rest of the world does not want to see it and when you get them taken "professionally" by a "photographer" who has a page and posts the photos PUBLICLY the world sees. Furthermore, I find it highly disrespectful to wear a uniform so many have fought for, gave it all for, and paid the ultimate price for in such a tasteless and skimpy manner. Please don't wear it out in public either. People are caught all the time trying to wear the uniform in public to get discounts and recognition for something they haven't accomplished and it's called "stolen valor". How would it be any different for you? What do you need recognition for? You have not earned the uniform.

2. Throw Out HIS Rank- Whether it's to belittle, get what you want or just to be a downright bitch, it isn't your rank to throw around. It's your significant other's. Please save yourself the embarrassment. Even though it's what you're aiming for, it doesn't get you any respect, it gets you the complete opposite. (This may also be a good time to add that there is no such thing as the 'silent ranks'. You have no rank. Period).

3. Use His Service As Your Identity- Honestly, the word "Milso" doesn't bother me. It's a word to generalize a certain group of people. Military significant other-that's kind of what you are. But it's not the ONLY thing that describes you. You can be a mother, a sister, a wife, a teacher, a nurse, an artist, and entrepreneur, all honorable things. When you introduce yourself to someone you don't say "I'm married to Steve, he's in the Army." You talk about yourself. "I'm ___, I do this this and this." Your life does not revolve around what your husband/boyfriend does. Though his career choices do affect your life in many ways, you are your own person. Be proud of that.

4. Post Personal Issues to Public Social Media- I can't tell you how many times I've seen military significant others ask for advice about such personal stuff on public pages!!! I totally understand wanting advice/encouragement when a deployment comes around, but putting things out there that should be taken care of in private by a professional is not smart. Other military significant others will most likely only be able to offer you encouragement but will all point you in the same direction-see a professional-get help from someone who has knowledge/experience on the certain subject.

5, Use the Flag as Lingerie- This sort of goes in the same category as number 1, but I feel like this needs to be said. People have fought and died for that flag. People still to this day fight and die for that flag. It is not a piece of apparel and certainly not a piece of lingerie. You don't look sexy draped in the U.S. flag in the nude, you look like you have no respect for the flag whatsoever (not to mention no taste). Do us all a favor and put some clothes on or put on a nice bra and panties and send the photos to your man PRIVATELY. I have never seen a male military spouse pose in the nude draped in the U.S. flag, why should you?

6. Engage in Infidelity- This is a "duh" but some people really just don't know when to keep it in their pants or keep their legs closed. I'm sure some of you have heard of the term "jodie" or "jody" (people spell it differently) and this name refers to the person a military significant other will cheat with. Obviously, this name didn't come about by just a few women cheating on their man. There had to have been a lot. If you can't be faithful, leave. Bottom line. And if you're deleting messages from your phone or Facebook so your significant other can't see, you're already there. I don't care how long it's been since you've seen your man...it's called "don't be a slut." Respect your man and what he's doing. Wait for him in all aspects. Mind, body, heart should all be committed to him and to him only. This should be a given. 

A Morning of Snoring and Falling In Love Again

Faint snores were escaping his mouth and filling the room. I longed to be asleep like that. After trying to sleep and getting nowhere, I turned over to face my husband. With his back toward me, I could see the rising and falling of his body in rhythm with his breathing. 

His peacefulness pulled me in and I scooted closer to him. I let my hand touch his bare back, my fingers tracing his freckles like a connect-the-dots. I didn't remember his skin feeling so smooth. A smile crept slowly on my face as my hands glided over his shoulder blades. Such strength and masculinity made me feel safe and protected. My hand slid up his sun-tanned neck, to his hair, so soft and dark. I brought my face to his head, taking in the familiar scent. Exhaling, I closed my eyes, one of my favorite smells. I pressed my cheek against his back, taking in yet another of my favorite smells, his deodorant. As I lifted my head to look over his body at his face, I could see his mouth was slightly open letting the snores out one by one. His eyelids, like curtains on a window, hid my favorite green eyes. His nose twitched and I giggled. I pulled away and laid on my side of the bed again. 

Normally, I would've been a little annoyed at his snoring especially since I needed rest. But this morning was different. I didn't know why or how. It was as if his snoring was an assurance. An assurance of life, of companionship, of someone who takes me as I am. An assurance of a best friend and someone to protect me.

Snoring by many, if not most, is seen as an inconvenience or annoyance, as it distracts the other person from sleep. I even find myself making a loud noise to get my husband to stop snoring in the middle of the night. But this morning it was different for me. It was proof that he was alive. He was breathing (loudly maybe) but he was well, in good health, and if I wanted to wake him to give him a kiss I could. 

I realized that there may come a day when his snoring is something I long to hear again, if just for a moment. 

His snoring was an assurance that he was still there. And I hope to hear his snoring every morning for the rest of my life.        

Love For Every Season of Life

A kiss goodnight. A "have a great day at school". Soup when I was feeling under the weather and a hug when I had fallen and scraped my knee. The sound of cheering at my games and laughter when I had done or said something ridiculous. It was feeling safe at night and feeling like I had nothing to worry about. It was telling them I'd always live with them and I'd never grow up and move out. (We all know how that turned out.) It was baking cookies for Santa and icing them together in the kitchen. It was love. 

It was chasing each other around the playground. It was a whisper in each other's ears. It was keeping secrets and passing notes. It was writing their name all over any piece of paper I could find. It was sitting beside each other at lunch and thinking we'd always have each other. It was being in second grade and saying "I'm gonna marry you." To me, then...it was love. 

It was finding my sister soul mate. It was shopping together and randomly laughing about nothing. It was making memories and taking pictures to remember those moments. It was "I need to talk to you" no matter what time of the night it was. It was doing each other's hair and nails and talking about boys. It was listening to music in the car and singing along. It was knowing we were each other's best friends and not even having to say it. It is being thousands of miles away from each other even now and checking in. It was, and is still, love. 

It was crying out to Him in moments of helplessness. It was me on my knees in my bedroom in the dark with tears streaming down my face asking, "Can You hear me?" It was wanting answers and asking questions. It was feeling completely peaceful in moments of chaos. It was saying "Jesus, come into my heart and into my life. Create in me a clean and new heart O God." It was raising my hands to the heavens saying, "I am Yours." It was finally feeling like I could let go and live in love. It was, and is, unending love. 

It was seeing tears and mourning for a lost life. It was remembering the good times and the laughter. It was seeing someone so broken at the loss of their other half. It was feeling broken at the loss of a loved one. It was wondering why they had to go. It was knowing that I would see them again. It was love.

It is a kiss on the forehead. A "welcome home, baby." It is random ice cream runs in the middle of the night. It is curling up on the couch together and watching a movie. It is a hug when I've had a bad dream. It is a sleepy smile on a late Sunday morning. It is a "hey baby, are you awake?" at 4am. It is "I can't live with you, but I can't live without you." It is being myself, flaws and all, and being completely accepted. It is waking up in the middle of the night for a glass of water and bringing him back a glass just in case. It is cooking his favorite meal as a surprise. It is chasing away the demons of the past. It is rejoicing in each other's company. It is unconditional. It is tough. It is the best thing I have ever experienced. It is having a best friend around you 24/7. --This is the love I am experiencing right now. 

This is not the only love I will experience in my life as new experiences will come with different seasons.

I believe that any age can experience love because there are different types. At age seven, if the boy I had a crush on picked me to chase around the playground, I thought he must really love me. Now, if my husband tries chasing me on a playground, I'll probably look at him like he's lost his mind. (Although secretly enjoying it the whole time.) There is no age limit on love. 

Especially when that is exactly what we were created for.